Social Rules
Interesting
抬手不打无礼之人
Tái shǒu bù dǎ wú lǐ zhī rén
Natural meaning
Don't strike someone who shows you respect.
Literal translation
Raise hand not hit person without manners
What it means
Even in conflict, you should not attack someone who has been polite and courteous toward you. Good manners can defuse aggression and create a moral obligation to respond with restraint.
Cultural context
In Chinese culture, 'li' (礼) or propriety is a powerful social force. A person who maintains courtesy even in confrontation places the opponent in a difficult position—to attack would be to lose face.
When Chinese people say this
Someone might say this when advising a hot-tempered person to back down because the other party has been respectful, or when explaining why a polite apology can stop an argument.
Why Chinese people say this
This saying reflects the Chinese belief that social harmony is maintained through ritualized courtesy. It signals that manners are not weakness but a form of social armor—they protect you from aggression and shame your opponent into restraint.
💬 Real-life example
A:I was furious when he bumped into my car, but he apologized immediately.
B:So you didn't argue with him?
C:No, 抬手不打无礼之人. When someone is polite, it's right to show restraint.
Tone
🟢 Restraining Ethical
⚠️ Don't take it literally
It's not about not raising a hand; it means avoiding aggression towards respectful people.
📖 Story example
During a neighborhood dispute over parking, Mr. Lin remained calm and offered a sincere apology. His neighbor, initially angry, remembered '抬手不打无礼之人' and suggested they share the space amicably, preventing further conflict.
❓ Frequently asked questions
What is the English translation of 抬手不打无礼之人?
It translates to 'Don't strike someone who shows you respect,' advising against hostility towards polite individuals.
When do Chinese people use this saying?
Traditionally, it's used in conflicts to encourage restraint when the other party demonstrates good manners or apology.
Is 抬手不打无礼之人 still applicable today?
Yes, it's often cited in discussions about conflict resolution, etiquette, and moral behavior.
What English phrase is similar to 抬手不打无礼之人?
Similar concepts include 'Turn the other cheek' or 'Kill them with kindness,' focusing on grace in response to rudeness.
💕 Related Chinese sayings