Face & Reputation
Easy
打人不打脸
dǎ rén bù dǎ liǎn
Natural meaning
Don't hit someone in the face.
Literal translation
Hit person not hit face.
What it means
This means that even in conflict, you should not humiliate or embarrass someone publicly. It's about leaving room for the other person's dignity and 'face' (面子), even when you are angry or in the right.
Cultural context
This is deeply rooted in the Chinese concept of 'face' (miànzi), which is about social standing and respect. Striking someone's face is a direct attack on their honor and can cause irreparable damage to the relationship.
When Chinese people say this
Someone might say this when two people are arguing and one starts to bring up embarrassing personal details, or when a manager publicly criticizes an employee in a meeting.
Why Chinese people say this
Chinese people use this saying to enforce a social rule of maintaining harmony and respect, even during conflict. It signals the importance of preserving 'face' for others as a way to protect relationships and avoid escalating hostility.
💬 Real-life example
A:I'm going to tell everyone how he failed that exam last year!
B:Hold on, that's too personal. 打人不打脸.
C:Right, even in arguments, we should preserve each other's dignity.
Tone
🟢 Admonishing · Respectful
⚠️ Don't take it literally
It is not about physical violence; it's a metaphor for avoiding embarrassment.
📖 Story example
During the team meeting, when John started to point out his colleague's past errors publicly, the team leader interjected, '打人不打脸,' reminding everyone to focus on solutions rather than shame. This helped de-escalate the tension and maintain a professional atmosphere for collaboration.
❓ Frequently asked questions
What does 打人不打脸 mean in English?
It translates to 'Don't hit someone in the face,' meaning to avoid humiliating others, even in conflict.
When do Chinese people say 打人不打脸?
Traditionally, it reflects the importance of 'face' or dignity, used when someone is about to embarrass another publicly.
Is 打人不打脸 still used today?
Yes, it's widely used in both personal and professional contexts to promote respectful communication.
What is the English equivalent of 打人不打脸?
Similar to 'Don't rub salt in the wound' or 'Avoid public shaming,' emphasizing the need for tact.
💕 Related Chinese sayings