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娶妻取德不取貌

Qǔ qī qǔ dé bù qǔ mào
Marry for character, not for looks.

Marry a wife for virtue, not for appearance.

This saying advises that when choosing a wife, a man should ...

This saying advises that when choosing a wife, a man should prioritize moral character, virtue, and inner qualities over physical beauty. It suggests that beauty fades and can even bring trouble, while a virtuous woman ensures a stable and harmonious household. It is a practical guide for marriage selection.

In traditional Chinese marriage philosophy, a wife's virtue (德, dé) was considered essential for family harmony, raising children properly, and managing the household. Physical beauty was seen as secondary and even potentially risky, as it could attract unwanted attention or vanity.

Someone might say this when advising a young man who is infatuated with a beautiful but ill-tempered woman, or when discussing the qualities that make a lasting marriage.

This saying reflects the deep-seated cultural belief that marriage is a lifelong institution for family stability, not a pursuit of personal pleasure. It signals that a man's choice of wife has moral and social implications beyond his own happiness, affecting the entire family line.

#marriage #wisdom #character

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