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Marriage Interesting

娶妻看丈母娘,嫁女看老丈人

qǔ qī kàn zhàng mǔ niáng, jià nǚ kàn lǎo zhàng rén
Look at the mother before marrying the daughter; look at the father before marrying off your daughter.

Taking a wife, look at the mother-in-law; marrying a daughter, look at the father-in-law.

A woman often resembles her mother in temperament and habits...

A woman often resembles her mother in temperament and habits, so observing the mother gives insight into the future wife. Similarly, a man's character can be gauged by looking at his father. Family patterns tend to repeat.

In traditional Chinese society, children were raised closely by their parents, and gender roles were strongly modeled—daughters learned from mothers, sons from fathers. Thus, parental behavior was a reliable predictor.

Someone might say this when a family is evaluating a potential match and pays close attention to the behavior and reputation of the prospective in-laws.

This saying reflects the deep belief in family influence and intergenerational continuity—marriage is not just a union of two individuals but of two families, so understanding the parents helps predict the future spouse's behavior.

#marriage #family #social-rules

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