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打人不打脸,说话不揭短

dǎ rén bù dǎ liǎn, shuō huà bù jiē duǎn
Don't strike the face, and don't expose someone's weaknesses in speech.

Hit person not hit face, speak words not reveal shortcomings.

This extended saying adds that just as you shouldn't physica...

This extended saying adds that just as you shouldn't physically hit someone's face, you shouldn't verbally attack their vulnerabilities or past mistakes. It's a rule of respectful communication—avoid humiliating others, even in anger.

This reflects the Confucian emphasis on benevolence (仁) and propriety (礼) in speech. In a society where 'face' is paramount, exposing someone's weaknesses is seen as a severe breach of etiquette that destroys trust.

Someone might say this when a friend is about to bring up a colleague's past failure in a heated argument, or when mediating a dispute to remind both sides to stay respectful.

This saying serves as a social contract for conflict resolution. It signals that true strength lies in restraint, and that preserving another's dignity is more important than winning an argument. It's a guide for maintaining long-term relationships.

#face #social-rules #honesty

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