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儿孙自有儿孙福,莫为儿孙作马牛

ér sūn zì yǒu ér sūn fú, mò wèi ér sūn zuò mǎ niú
Children and grandchildren will have their own blessings — don't be a horse or ox for them.

Children and grandchildren naturally have their own fortune; don't be a horse or ox for children and grandchildren.

An extended version of the previous saying: not only should ...

An extended version of the previous saying: not only should you trust your descendants' futures, but you also shouldn't sacrifice your own life and dignity working like a beast of burden for them.

This adds a stronger warning against over-sacrifice. In Chinese culture, parents often give everything to their children — this saying cautions against going too far.

Someone might say this to a retiree who is still working multiple jobs to fund their adult children's lifestyle, or to a parent who has no life of their own.

It challenges the extreme form of parental devotion in Chinese culture. The saying encourages a healthy balance between responsibility to children and self-respect.

#family #wisdom #boundaries

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